First things first…NO!!! I did not get engaged, partnered or married over Valentine’s Day. That would require another person and, for lack of better terms, I am single AF. Now, take a deep breath and hopefully the shock of seeing me wearing a wedding band will subside. LOL
So why am I wearing an engagement ring and wedding band in this picture?
I help moderate a few groups on Flickr. As I was going through approving pictures, I saw a pose named “I Said Yes To The Ring” or something along those lines. I just had to stop and look at it for a minute. Now, I admit the pose was cute and all, but the name of the pose struck me. Say yes to the ring?
What happened to saying yes to the guy or girl who you have been proclaiming your love to? What happened to saying yes to the person you have been talking about and introducing to all of your friends?
Say yes to the ring???
Now, I may piss a few people off with what I am about to say, but I am going to go ahead and put it out there…
Ladies…we want to be respected, right? We want to be treated well, loved, cherished, etc, right? I hope a lot of you are nodding your heads yes…
Assuming the answer is yes to that question, why in the world are you going to focus on the size of the ring, the presents the guy can buy you or, thinking about SL, whether or not s/he pays your tier? While I am all about being the fairer sex, when the hell did we become the sex that EXPECTS presents and to have all of our expenses paid for by a guy?
Now, in my 13 years of SL, I have only had one romantic relationship. Did he buy me presents? Yes, he did. In the few months we were together, I can count the number of presents he bought me on two hands. That’s not to say he was stingy. He wasn’t. He offered to pay for a lot of things for me. The things was…I wouldn’t let him. Why? It was a matter of self respect for me.
If my memory serves me correctly, he bought me a couple of outfits, a TV for my land and some Valentine’s Day presents. He offered to buy me more. I wouldn’t let him, telling him that unless we were partnered, I didn’t want him spending that much money on me. He offered to pay my tier and also offered to let me move in with him on his land. I turned down both offers stating that unless we were partnered (and I have a rule of lasting at least six months in world for that to happen), it was important to me that he not go and blow a bunch of money on me when we didn’t know if the relationship was truly going to be long term.
The big thing though was, I was with him for him…not for what he could buy me. I developed feelings for him because of the man he appeared to be…not what he could add to my inventory.
I guess my point is this, ladies. We talk about wanting to be respected and treated well. You know what? You’re right! We should be! But being respected and treated well is very different than being spoiled. Being respected and treated well does not mean we give up our ability to be independent and stand on our own two feet. And also, I saw a post on this the other day and I agree with it…we need to be treating the guys well and giving them the respect the deserve. The men deserve just as much respect as we deserve…until they prove otherwise.
So would you say yes to the ring or to the guy? Me, I’m going to say yes to the person offering me that ring. I am going to say yes their intelligence, dignity, self respect, honor, the feeling of being held in their arms, the way they treat me overall and the way they make me feel safe and cared for.
I’m going to say yes to the soul of the person.
See it on Flickr.
Accessories – Cae – Betrothed Ring & Wedding Band; LUXE – Kae Chocker [@ Access Event]
Body – Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Eyes – LOTUS – Flow Eyes [@ Access Event]
Hair – Truth – Joy
Head & Ears – Catwa Catya
Shape – Custom – Not for sale.
Skin – Head: The Face – Sophie, SPF 30 [@ eBento Event] & Body: Fiore (SPF 30)
Pose – Foxcity Foodie 2m