New Destinations

N407 Destinations Blog

Happiness.  What is it?  How do we define it?

Hell…I don’t know the best way to define happiness.  You would think I would know considering I just finished my Masters in Counseling but I don’t have a clue how to define it universally.  A large part of that is because we are all different and different things make different people happy.

What I can tell you is that I am most certainly NOT happy in my current work environment.

Yesterday, I posted a fairly long post on Facebook about my current situation at work.  I have complained about this before and so I am not going to go into another litany of what’s wrong there.  I am only go say that after some events from the past two weeks, I realize that things aren’t going to change and for some reason, it appears my new leadership is targeting me.  No matter what I do, it appears someone has their sites set on finding something major to discipline me for…but yet also fails to even talk to me directly and even tell me they have concerns.  They are choosing to do it all behind my back, secretly chipping away at the reputation I have spent over 20 years building.

Its become an untenable situation and one that is impacting my physically, mentally and emotionally.

I am not saying I am perfect.  You all may remember that just a few weeks I posted about some mistakes I made at work.  I own my mistakes.  However, none of those mistakes were THAT major.  I’m not excusing the fact I made them…just saying that they were not things that warrant the sort of pressure and scrutiny that I feel at work right now.

Things at work have just continued to get worse.  Our staffing is horrible.  I am so busy backing up my team that I am often unable to complete desk work.  And when I say I am backing up my team, I am not saying I am avoiding desk work to support them.  I am saying that I HAVE to go into staffing so that we have minimum staffing numbers.  I am doing this not only during my regularly assigned work hours.  I am having to go in on weekends and holidays and working 10-14 hour days just so we have MINIMUM staffing.

And yet with all of this, I am still having almost everything I do questioned without reason.

So the other night, I made a decision.  Its time to leave this place i have made my home and move on.

I had always hoped to stay right where I am now.  I love this city.  The culture and diversity, both for a city this size and a city in the south, is amazing.  I have friends and professional relationships here.  I own my home.  I am within a few hours of my family.  This city has become my home more than my hometown.

But there are no jobs that suit my qualifications and pay me the same I am making now.  I’m essentially trapped in the job I am in.  Until I can save up some money, I can’t even begin to consider beginning my counseling residency.  And with that being said, I have decided to expand my job search nationally and internationally.

Its a scary thought to pack up and go where ever in the world offers you a great job and offers an environment where I feel safe.  I have never done anything like this.  But I figure if I am going to do it, now is the time to do it.

I’m single.  No kids.  I’m at that perfect point of my career change.  I plan/hope to begin living my life as the real and authentic me in the next 4-6 months.  I would say this is the perfect time for me to start over somewhere else.

I can’t change my leadership…but I can change the environment I am working in.  I can change my response to the world around me.

I don’t know.  All I want is to feel respected for the work I do and that I am being treated fairly.  All of this back stabbing, lack of communication and passive aggressive behavior towards me has created a hostile work environment where I feel I am constantly having to look over my shoulder.  It is exhausting me so much more when you factor in the crazy hours I have been working.  It is increasing the likelihood of me making mistakes.  It is not helping me in trying to fight the depression I have been battling since November.

So its time for me to take back what control I can in that part of my life.  Its time for me to care for myself.  Its time for me to show my level of professionalism and committment to other companies and hopefully find one that will show me the same level of respect I want to show and feel for my employer.

Its time for me to be someone that makes me happy and thank that risk.

Wish me luck! ♥

See it on Flickr.

What I’m Wearing
Blueberry – Aria Stylized Pants
Foxy – Darling [@ Kustom9]
RYCA – Sunglasses- PRDA01 Gold
Seul – Alaia Puff Top [@ Access Event]

Foxcity – Indulge 1

Prop – Neon Truths

Cliff Hill – green A

Little Branch

Optmus Race
Chopper R Supercharger Hotrod Series

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Robert Wilson says:

    That’s a beautiful photo of you, and you’re looking a stunning as ever.

    You are right, its time to move on, you cannot go on in your present job. I know its not a decision you have taken lightly but its the right one. Your situation on your current job, long house, office politics is not good for you physical and mental health.

    You are a beautiful girl inside and out and need to work somewhere that appreciated you.

    You have my support whatever you decide hon. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, hon. I truly do appreciate it. ♥


  2. Best of luck and much success to you in the future! It’s scary and exciting at the same time but you can do it!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, hon. The good thing is in my past, barely more than 10 years ago, this sort of situation would have paralyzed me. At least I have moved beyond that. Thank you so much for the support, beautiful. ♥


  3. Katie McKenzie says:

    I was faced with a similar situation years ago when I decided to quit my corporate job and strike out on my own. Granted, I also had my husband’s smaller income to back me up but it was still scary as hell to think I might have to work even harder with less to show for it and risk actual failure. But looking back now, I think it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Even had I failed at the one thing I wanted to do, I could have found something else to try. It’s only really a failure if we give up.

    Don’t give up, Tiff. You are too smart, disciplined and beautiful to ever truly “fail”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I won’t give up. I don’t think I know how to give up. I just don’t want to feel like I am stuck in the mud spinning my wheels (do we see my country girl come out right there? lol). Its funny because there are so many positives to being married and single and so many negatives in situations like this. I have the freedom to go anywhere but don’t have that support at home. I will get it sorted out though. One day at a time, right?

      Liked by 1 person

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