Surveying My Surroundings

N420 Surveying My Surroundings Blog

Sometimes we just have to stop and take stock of what’s going on around us.  Sometimes that means evaluating our lives.  Sometimes it means evaluating a situation.  Sometimes its a matter of ensuring we take the right next step.

There have been a couple of things on my mind for the past day or two.  One is something great.  The other is something that just really disturbs me.  I’m going to start with the negative and end with the positive.

The negative.  On Tuesday night, as I was going to bed and I opened up Facebook to clear out my alerts.  I saw a post at the top of my feed that…that just scared me to read.  In the post, a gentleman (I use that term loosely) went on a rant that started bashing homosexual men had then went on to rant about the entire LGBTIQ community.  Apparently some homosexual men and done something to to attack his character, which I believe he had a right to be upset about.  But the beliefs he expressed based on their actions truly bothered me.

In his post, he basically said that the entire LGBTIQ community was at fault for and was making themselves the victims of violence and hate because he feels all of us take part in these actions.  He took these few incidents that occurred to him and developed a very prejudicial view of those of us who are different from the norm and just assumed that all of us would be out to get people who did not accept us or respond to us in the way we feel they should.

His words both scared me and saddened me.  I posted a reply and tried to keep it civil.  Sadly though, it is views like this that lead me to have to be hyper-vigilante when I am out in public.  The most basic example of this is that the majority of assaults on transgender individuals occur in bathrooms…a place that often leaves few options for escape and the victim can be easily cornered.  I mean…should someone like me have to be on high alert just because I need to use the bathroom?  His words are the type of words that incite violent actions and lead to so many of us feeling as though we constantly have to look over our shoulders as we just try to live our daily lives.

Along with the generalizations this man made about an entire marginalized group of people, he also failed to acknowledge that people in every class and group do the same sort of things he said we were guilty of.  So why is he only attacking one group?  And also…the part that REALLY bothered me…this man’s profile picture was that of an African American man, a group that has marginalized in so many ways, and he is marginalizing another group?  That part right there truly bothers me…more than I can express in words.  *sighs*

So enough of the depressing crap.  Let’s move on to the positive…

Sooooo…the sweet guy I mentioned the other week?  Well…he’s still in the picture and he’s been a total sweetheart this whole time.

I shared with him the other night that while I love getting to know him and spending time with him, its also weird for me.  I’m not saying its weird in any kind of bad way.  That’s not the case at all.  Its weird because I am so not used to it! lol  Thirteen years in SL and I have been single for all but 4 months of that time.  I have learned, both in RL and SL to be so independent that sometimes its hard to let people into my life and not run.  But guess what…I haven’t run!

I have to give the man credit though because he hasn’t pushed at all like so many people in SL can do with SL relationships.  He’s been a total gentleman and I love talking with him.  His little messages help brighten my days and when we are able to spend time together in world, my face will hurt for hours from laughing and smiling.  With the experiences I have had with SL dating, this has all been so unexpected but also so incredibly refreshing.  Considering I had pretty much resolved myself to the fact that I was going to be the old maid of SL and always stay single, this man has really shaken up my SL…in good ways.

Am I expecting anything at this point with him?  No.  But then there is freedom in not EXPECTING things to happen a certain way.  By not expecting anything, it frees us to be ourselves with someone else and, dare I say, grow in a way I think a lot of people miss.    By not expecting or forcing things, we get to let things grow and develop naturally.  Isn’t that the way any relationship should be?

Now…if sweet guy doesn’t run for the hills or kill me for writing about him here, today should be a great day. 🙂 ♥

See it on Flickr.

What I’m Wearing
Cae – Layered Neckalce
ISON – Mokatana Skirt
Just Because – Darla Top [@ Uber]
RunAway Hair – Melly Hair

Foxcity – Lost 4

Minimal – Soho Build (no snow)

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