N440 Untitled Blog

I’m going to do my best to keep this short tonight.  I know I can be a little long winded at times.

I have shared many, many times before about my struggles at work since we had a change in leadership.  Obviously, not getting the promotion was hard for me, along with how so many aspects of that were handled.  One of the things that I have truly struggled with though is losing a lot of the responsibilities I once had.

Losing those extra duties I had worked so hard to get has left me feeling bored at work.  I mean, while I have been incredibly busy, I have been busy supporting my staff through a staffing crisis most of the time.  The days where are staffing is good enough, I spent more time browsing the internet than I do actually doing work.  Its pretty sad actually.

I used to have my hands in a lot of pots at work.  It had projects and deadlines.  All of the things I was doing were areas where I had a unique area of expertise that helped meet the end goal.  I lost that.  I got bored.  I mean, I can do my current job, as it is written, with no effort because I have been doing it so long.  For me, when I am both challenged and appreciated at work…that’s when I excel.

That same can be said in relationships.

I had a talk with someone last night and he brought up the term “trophy wife.”  Ok…I’ll be honest, that is a hot button for me.  Granted, the trophy wives where I live are typically women I don’t have a great deal of respect for.  Maybe that sounds mean, but to see them flaunt around acting like they are the queen bees but yet they want to do as little as possible to get by just irks me.

In relationships, I want to be challenged intellectually.  I want to be challenged in emotionally healthy ways.  I want to be pushed to be a better person.  While my view of myself and what I am capable of has improved so much over the years, I still struggle with self doubt and insecurities about every aspect of my life.  I WANT to be pushed to be a stronger woman.  I WANT to be pushed to learn new things.  I WANT to be pushed acquire new skills.

Help me to see in myself what you see in me and draws you to me.

I’m not saying that isn’t being done now, because it is.  I just feel sad for those who don’t get to experience that either because of crappy partners or an extremely negative view of themselves.

Speaking just for myself here…when I don’t feel both challenged and appreciated, that is when I am going to get bored and things will fall about for me.

What about for you?

See it on Flickr.

What I’m Wearing
Glam Affair – Korina 008
Lelutka – Korina
Punch – Belly Piercing Diamond
Stardust – Evelyn Tattoo Bloom [@ Uber]
Truth – Aislin
ViSion – Natalia Lingerie Bra & Panties [@ Uber]

Foxcity – City Life 6m & Cigarette Prob

Apple Fall
Hetton Barn Conversion

Potted Ponytail Palm [Ssize]

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