Can I tell you how much I hate committee meetings? And even more…I hate it when people assume things….
A couple of weeks ago, I was in a meeting for this big committee I serve on at work. I have been on this committee for over 10 years and honestly, my patience for most of this group ran out a long time ago. Most of the people just love to hear themselves talk and sadly, for as noble as the mission statement of the group is…we rarely make any real changes that impact the organization in positive ways… *sighs*
Sadly, the make up of this group personifies some aspects of the company I work for. There are parts of the organization where the hierarchy promotes the idea that if you are at a particular level, you are instantly exponentially more intelligent and capable than someone else at a different level or in a different role…and that the opinions of those “beneath” you don’t have valid opinions on important topics. Some people buy into this belief, hence why some people on this committee really enjoy hearing themselves spout off at the mouth.
Sadly, these people often make assumptions about others without taking the time to get to know them. They often look at me and others, and the roles we serve in and automatically assume that because we are not in the “distinguished” role they are in, we automatically don’t know what we are talking about. Let me tell you something…after 21 years with this organization, the different roles I have served in the company and just my life experiences, I do know what I am talking about when I speak up and assuming I don’t know is never a good thing to do.
Ironically and along the same lines, I find it disgusting and yet also humerus when people assume that because I am transitioning that it is automatically having a negative impact upon my job performance.
When my new leadership came in last summer, I was actually asked how my transition was negatively impacting my work. I just looked and them and was thinking, “Excuse me? What???” My previous boss had actually commented to me multiple times that my disclosure to her and beginning my journey had drastically improved my job performance. I think this fact was personified just the other week.
I was sitting in that dreaded committee meeting and one of the people who loves to hear themselves talk was going on and on about a change he wanted to make to something. He was trying to reinvent the wheel and put his name on something that was already being done, just on a smaller scale. As I tried to explain this and that we already had a process in place, this egomaniac kept talking over me, telling me I was wrong and then repeat the same thing I just said and so on and so forth.
Needless to say, I got a little lippy with this guy. I was never unprofessional or anything like that, but by the time I was done talking, the key committee members basically said this person needed to include me in any discussions about this process…especially since my team will be an integral part of the process. I knew in my mind that if we were going to do things right in this procedure, I had to put everything on the table. It had to be done to protect the safety of everyone impacted by this process.
At the close of the meeting, a good friend of mine who knows I am transitioning came up to me and talked to me. After giving me a big hug, the first words out of her mouth were, “I love seeing you like this. Your inner bitch is coming out and its absolutely great! Shame on him for assuming he could talk down to you like that.”
Making assumptions about others is never smart. Sadly, we see assumptions always being made about the LGBTQ population by those who aren’t incredibly supportive of our lifestyles. Far too many assume we are freaks or deviants who have no interest in living normal day in and day out lives. I know for me, I just want to be me…whatever that means for me. Funny thing is, the way I plan to live my life is as “normal” as the majority of the population. I just want to go through my days the same way almost every other woman lives her life.
I am sure most of you have heard the old saying of, “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” Funny thing is…anyone who makes assumptions about me doesn’t make an ass out of me. When someone makes assumptions about you, it really isn’t a reflection of you, how the rest of the world sees you and it doesn’t diminish who you are as a person.
Just remember this as you move forward. Assuming never says anything about you. It says everything about them and their narrow mindedness.
See it on Flickr.
What I’m Wearing
Accessories – Cae – Leticia Earrings & Necklace [@ Uber]
Body – Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara
Eyes – The Face – Crystal Eyes Pallet
Hair – RunAway Hair – Britney
Head & Ears – Catwa Catya
Shape – Custom – Not for sale.
Skin – Belleza – Fleur Tan for Catwa (@ Liaison Collaborative)
Diversion – Up Close 1