Guys, I have a word of advice for you. If you want to be called men and treated like men, then grow a damn set and act in a manner that shows you are a man of integrity.
Thank goodness I did not come to SL looking for companionship because if I had, I would most likely have a horrible self image right now. Coming here to discover myself was such a better purpose and while I will never judge anyone for coming here to find someone to spend their time with, I really hope those of you that have love yourselves first…because that is the most important thing.
I have touched on this topic before but I’m going to be honest, right now I am in a place where I just want to push 95% of the male population off a damn cliff.
So first things first. I’m a big girl. I am confident in myself, who I am and where I am going. I am independent and don’t need anyone other than my friends to get through my days. You men complain there are no good women out there. Guess again. There are a lot of good women out there. I include myself as one of them. If you don’t want to be involved with me, whether it is because I am transitioning, I can be so independent or any other reason…just tell me. As I said, I’m a big girl and I can handle it. I have survived this long on my own. I will keep on surviving on my own without you.
Twice over the past week, I have had guys flirting with me. In both cases, things were going really well. I wasn’t rushing anything. While it would be nice to have someone special to spend my time with, I certainly don’t NEED anyone. So I am patient and take my time. We talk. They ask how a girl like me is still single. They tell me how much they are attracted to strong, independent women. I actually start to think that hey, maybe this guy is different than the rest. We hit this point where I need to make sure they know I am transitioning because, as most of us know, far too many people fail to do more than look at pictures and never look at profiles, read blog posts, etc.
So, nervously, I let them know that I am transitioning. They smile and laugh. They tell me they don’t care. They tell me that has never bothered them. I get my hopes up a little.
And then they disappear without a word and are never heard from again.
Remember when I said before that so many men need to grow a set? Guys…honesty. Respect. You want others to give it to you. You have to give it in return. I have been in SL for 13 years. I have had a lot of guys tell me that while they love my personality, there is just no way they could get involved with someone who is transitioning. OMG can I tell you how much I respect those men? They give me hope for the male gender. They were big enough men to look at me and say, “I’m sorry…but I can’t get past that one thing.” And you know what, I’m ok with that. While my sexuality is much more fluid, I know not everyone’s is.
But you men who can’t say that to me, especially when you don’t even have to look me in the eye to say it….cowards and unworthy of being called men. A real man will not only stand up for those he loves but will also stand by his convictions and do it with honor and integrity. When did men become such cowards? Most of my male friends could never get involved with someone like me. You know what? That’s fine because if there was an initial attraction, they were honest with me that they couldn’t be more than friends with me and we built our friendships upon that honesty. Sadly, too few men have that same integrity these days.
Am I pissed about all of this? Yes, I am. I’m not pissed because someone suddenly doesn’t find me attractive because I am transitioning. I am pissed because these people who are flirting it up big time can’t find five seconds to type out that they can’t cross that line. I am pissed because they then disappear without a word. I am pissed because they aren’t showing others the basic respect they insist others give them.
As I said, I’ll be fine. Thankfully, I have not needed someone in my life in that capacity for quite some time. And after the last manipulative relationship I made the mistake of having in RL, I have truly taken a much different, and far healthier, view of relationships…both romantic and platonic. The funny thing is…when someone has spent a portion of their life truly alone and survived, they aren’t afraid to walk away from the bullshit and certainly don’t go chasing after people who don’t show them basic respect.
See…this is one of the many reasons I stay on platform so much! LOL
Maybe, one day, I will find someone to share my time in SL with. As I said, I have never really looked for it and I certainly don’t plan on looking now.
And, as I have said before…I already have the best boyfriend a girl could have in Dozer. ♥
See it on Flickr.