I truly do miss family meals together.
Before my father died, regular meals with all of the family together at the table were a big deal. We had as many meals together, as a family, as we could. And I am not talking about all of the family getting together for the holidays. I am talking about me, Daddy, our step-mother, brother and sister all at the same table, talking about our days and what was to come. It really was a special thing for me and when I was younger and dreamed of having children, I always wanted to make sure that I gave them that if I had a family.
After Daddy died and I moved in with my mother, the family meals drastically decreased in frequency. Part of that was me getting older. Part of it was my Mom’s and my step-father’s work schedules. Part of it was me, my brother, sister and I were no longer living under the same roof. It was a variety of factors but, as I got older, I realized how much I missed those meals together. I believe that even when I was a teenager, I would have loved those times together and the memories that came out of them. I kind of feel like I missed out on something…if that makes any sense.
I really got to thinking about those family times together yesterday. My step-father called me to let me know he had been in accident. Another driver had t-boned his car and then fled from the scene after the accident. Fortunately, my step-father was ok. He was sore as hell but at 80, what do you expect? The important thing though…he is ok. The car can be replaced. My step-father cannot be replaced.
I fully admit that I went into this emotional panic as he was telling me about the accident. In that moment, I realized how horrified I am of losing him. I want more time with him. He is the last parental figure left in my life and I want to make more memories with him.
Also, and I feel incredibly selfish saying this…none of the parental figures in my life ever got to see and know the real me. None of them ever got to see me happy. All they ever saw was me struggling with self acceptance and depression. I really want at least one of my parental figures to truly witness me happy with me in this life.
I think, once I get through this staffing nightmare at work, I need to make some extra time to get home and see my step-father. I want to get him here, but I think the drive might be a little too much for him.
It would be nice to have some new memories of a family breakfast with him though.
See it on Flickr.
ACORN – Bowral Set [@ Uber until 8/22, then Mainstore]
Book Ends -Artichoke
Cabinet Dark Wood
Bowral Chandelier Dark Wood
Bowral Dining Bench Seat DK
Bowral Dining Chair PG DK
Bowral Dining Table DK
Framed Print -Yesteryear
Small Glazed Pot -Ink
Trio Raw Pots
Apples w/ Ornamental Stand – Silver
Cosmos Flowers – Candystripe
‘Elvira’ Plate w/ Egg, Avocado & Toast
‘Elvira’ Plate w/ Sliced Grapefruit
Nectarines w/ Basket
Pancake Breakfast Board
Swan Toast Caddy & Toast
fiddle leaf tree
pilea peper plant
pink medinilla plant
long sheer curtains
Cliff Hill – green A
Cliff Hill – green B
KraftWork Bonjour Set [@ Uber until 8/22, then Mainstore]
Bonjour Coffee Pot
Bonjour Croissant Basket
Bonjour Milk Pot
Bonjour Place Set Croissant
Bonjour Place Set Egg
Bonjour Place Set Fruit Loops 1
Bonjour Place Set Mat Rose