It’s so easy to get caught up in things going wrong and the chaos of our lives and forget about the things we should be grateful for. And lord knows that as much as I talk about being grateful, feeling blessed, etc., I am just as guilty as the next person for forgetting to remember my blessings in life.
This week has, thankfully, been filled with a lot of reminders and it has really made me just stop and think…a lot.
Its kind of ironic that I’m feeling this way with Tuesday having been my birthday. Normally I hate my birthday. Over the past decade plus, I have grown to hate my birthday. I haven’t hated it because of getting older. I have hated my birthday had become associated with failed promises, cancelled plans and someone’s kindness later being used as a bargaining tool. I know that sounds bad but its very true and leaves you just not wanting to even acknowledge a day like your birthday.
I don’t want to go into all of the details of it because first, it would be incredibly time consuming. Second, I will just say that if you think of emotionally manipulative relationships, you have a better idea of where I am coming from. The negative emotional impact of those experiences eventually wears on you and takes the joy out of days that should be special to someone.
This year though…this year broke that habit and has left me just feeling…blessed. Where do I even begin?
I start first with so wonderful things relating to my transition. I found out this week, ironically, that my company is looking to expand their transgender care related benefits. I have been approved to have voice coaching lessons covered by my insurance….which also means my health care flexible spending account will cover my co-pays. I had my initial evaluation yesterday and am already scheduled for my four voice coaching appointments through the speech therapy department at work. And the speech therapist I am seeing…he’s an amazing guy who is specially trained in transgender voice coaching. So I will be working with someone who really knows what he is doing. Doesn’t hurt he’s a bit of cutie. lol
Now this may sound stupid, but lord it meant the world to me. I had told a friend a few weeks that I was thinking about throwing a small party for myself in world. Let me tell you…this girl took off with it and threw an amazing party for me last night. And I mean, it was just crazy! At every step of the process, I tried to help with something and, well, she pretty much cut me off and took over the whole thing. I think all I got to decide was theme, who was taking care of the music, and the day and time. Other than that, I just had to show up.
That was something very new for me as…and I say this in all honesty…I haven’t had someone work to put a party together for me for anything in life since my wedding in 2005.
There were promises by ex’s, family and friends to throw me some sort of party for my birthdays and when I finished my bachelors and masters over the years, and nothing came to fruition. I had friends here say they were going to throw me these “coming out” showers as a way to help me get some of the necessities I am going to need living my new life…and none of those have happened. So I have just not wanted anyone to say they were going to do something for the longest time. But this girl, damn she just took the ball and ran with it. And she left me crying tears of gratitude the whole night at the party.
That other part that was just amazing to me, was looking around at the people at the party. Sadly, you can never invite everyone that you want to invite to something…but as I looked around, I was just in awe…and tears. I mean, I have been in SL a LOONNNGGGG time and sometimes you forget about the friendships you make in SL or how much a medium like SL can really connect people. The past three years have just been…unreal…for me. As we were listening to music, laughing and all…I was in tears looking at the people who had come. There were those who supported me when I first started disclosing. There were people from my days in the music scene. Friends who have supported and encouraged me in my blogging. People who I never expected to become so close who have taken these very special places in my heart. It was the first time I have been able to have all of these different people from these different stages of my Second Life all in one place. It was the first time many of them got to meet the others. To see them all in one place and to get to meet others who were so important to me was something truly magical for me.
So yeah, this week has been a week of being reminded for blessed I really am. I really am a lucky woman. And I don’t say that to discount anything about myself. I say that because there are so many good people who never get to experience the kind of love and support I have been able to experience in times like last night.
As I said, there are so many others who have been part of my journey who I just love and adore. And all of you…all of you who support me on this journey…all of you mean the world to me.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to express in words how grateful I am for all of you.
Thank you, all of you, for making this birthday truly one of the best of my life. ♥
See it on Flickr.
Foxcity – What Gives 7m
[Arbor] Basket Flower [Yellow]