I’ve spent so much of my life worried about how others perceive me.
Whether its been my family, what people thought of me when I didn’t graduate college on time, professionally, my gender identity issues…whatever it has been, I have spent so much time and energy worried about how others viewed me.
It’s fucking exhausting.
The same happened to me with blogging, my photos, etc.
While I have blogged different mesh heads, I would always leave my body in the same proportions. Everything had become this stock version of myself. Not that I haven’t liked my look. I have. It reflects a lot of parts of myself and has been the look that I call “home,” so to speak.
While I was on my blogging vacation though, I decided to play with my look some. I did some different things and, honestly, I had a lot of fun with it. I got off my platform and met people. I explored the grid some. I did things I hadn’t done in years on the grid.
I have always admired those bloggers who change their looks so much in the blogs. I used to watch them and think, “I wish I could do that too…” but always felt like I couldn’t. I mean, here I am in RL transitioning, changing EVERYTHING about myself, and I and grown timid at the thought of altering my look in SL on a daily basis.
Between finally buying the Genus head recently and Lelutka preparing to release a new batch of mesh heads, I think I am going to explore some different looks both around the grid and here in my blog. I mean, part of shooting for the FaMESHed X team was opening myself up and letting a part of me out in my photography. So I figure between just coming off my vacation and X opening today, what better time to start trying some different things? Besides…isn’t part of the fun in SL being able to change our look at the drop of a hat?
This should be really interesting…
See it on Flickr.
Diversion – Main Attraction 5