I don’t know how many of you are familiar with the SL live performer Hogan Bailey. His nickname is “Mr. Entertainment” in world and I can tell you that he does a truly amazing show. If you ever get a chance to check out one of his sets, you should. You won’t regret it.
What a lot of people don’t know is I got to meet Hogan back in May at the SL Baltimore Jam. For those of you who have followed my blog for a while, you may remember this jam was the first time I presented in public and for the first time in my life, outside of my home, I was able to live as the real me. While everyone was so supportive and wonderful, Hogan, Kath Rise and Toxie Darkmatter were the three people who really got me through that weekend. One or more of them was by my side at each new experience I had as the real me. They all showed me nothing but love and support every step of the way. And Hogan…he was nothing but a perfect gentleman to me and showed me the same courtesy and respect he showed every other woman at the event.
Having gotten to know Hogan like I did in May, it shouldn’t have surprised me when I saw the most amazing meme on his Facebook wall yesterday. The words were beautiful, yet simple. The meme read:
So many folks talk about how they’re being “forced to accept” things that go against their beliefs.
You’re not being forced to accept them.
If you have a problem with people of color, with gay marriage, with trans people, with immigrants, with women of any race, etc. then you’re still welcome to feel however you want to feel about these people. You’re just not allowed to make their lives harder because of your feelings. You’re not allowed to turn their daily lives into a battle ground.
No one is forcing you to “accept” a single thing. You’re just not being allowed to terrorize people.
This meme that Hogan posted really does sum things up so well and I believe makes it all so simple. Like, with my family, yes…I hope and pray every day that those who are not currently accepting me will at least work towards acceptance. Me, personally, I know some people will never ever accept me. I get it. It goes against whatever beliefs they have and while I believe those beliefs are wrong, I won’t be able to change them. Only those people can change their beliefs over time and me harping on how wrong their beliefs are will only make them dig their heels in more.
I am also aware that in order for them to change their beliefs, I have to be a positive “spokesperson” for a group I had no choice of being a part of.
I know I have talked about it before…not wanting to be a spokesperson for the trans population. Its not exactly something I enjoy or look forward to, despite what some may think. I know that when it comes to me being a spokesperson in RL, I will never be one to write about my journey openly like I do here within the framework of SL. Its scary for me because of the real threat of physical violence that comes with being on this journey. I do hope to possibly help promote cultural competency for the LGBTQ population within the health care industry, but that’s about as far as I could go with being a spokesperson.
In the end, myself and others on this journey, most of us just want to blend into the masses. We want to be able to walk down the street and have people just see us as the men and women that we are…the same any cis man or woman feels when another person looks at them. Sure, there are those in the trans community who are more vocal…but most trans people live in stealth out of fear for their safety. This is one of the reasons most scientific research on the trans population acknowledges that its hard to estimate what percentage of the population truly is transgender…because so many will never acknowledge they are trans out of fear.
In the end though…most of us don’t expect everyone to accept or like us. Most of us know that is an impossible goal in life. Instead, we just want to be a face in the crowd…any face you may see any day. Just some face you may look at and think about being cute or attractive and then move on about your day. Maybe, just maybe, you will think we are attractive enough that you think about us a bit more…but aside from that…we just want to blend in and go about our business, without the fear of being assaulted or humiliated for just trying to live our truth.
Thankfully, there are people like Hogan in the world. People who see the heart of the person and not just the physical. Thankfully, there are people like Hogan who not only believe that everyone should be judged based on their heart, but also take the time to be openly supportive of those people. Thankfully, there are men like Hogan who have given people like me the chance to just be me and can say that friends are friends, people are people, regardless of who they love or what gender they identify with.
Thankfully, there are people like Hogan, and all of you, who want myself and others who may be…different…to be seen as normal so that one day, maybe we can go about our days without being labeled or judged. ♥
See it Flickr.
Pose – Foxcity – Selfie V2-2 & Prop
Douglas Fir 1
Douglas Fir 2
Douglas Fir 3
Douglas Fir 4
Photo Booth – Old Station
lighted holiday wreath . flocked
Cliff Hill – snow A
Cliff Hill – snow B