“Don’t they ever leave you alone? I thought you weren’t on call?”
These were the questions posed to me by my new roommate just last night as I she and I tried to have dinner together. While we sorted a lot of things out…chores, shared responsibilities, parking, etc….when she signed the lease to rent from me, we still needed to hammer out some of the finer details. There was only one problem…
My phone kept ringing, dinging, vibrating and whatever other words you want to use to basically say…work wouldn’t let me relax and enjoy the evening.
Other than my sister and the last person I dated seriously, I don’t think anyone else had truly witnessed the craziness that comes with my job. I mean, yes, I am burnt out and not happy/satisfied at work…for a variety or reasons. But few have actually seen how things can go. I mean, my roommate just moved in last Friday and she has already seen me work all through my scheduled weekend off and then lose my one off day for the week. She also has watched as every evening since she moved in, I have had at least one issue I have had to take care of at the office. “I don’t know why you haven’t broken something with all of this craziness,” were her last words as she went to the office to play on her computer while I sat down to try and work on this photo.
All of this lately, everything from the gun protests that happened here the other week to the the fire that occurred in my office building on Saturday to the IT outages they want me to communicate out to the organization…it can become all consuming sometimes. Even when you try to take time to care for yourself, it can still overrun your life and truly make you wish you had never taken on that level of responsibility.
Despite the fact I have been a manager for 18 years now, I never WANTED to be a manager. I just wanted to take care of people. I didn’t want to deal with politics within an organization. I just wanted to focus on that one patient in front me and make sure they were taken care of. Unfortunately, the pay was not good for a medic back then and I pretty much had to go into management due to family financial obligations and helping with the care of my mom and step father.
But man do I wish I could go back to those simpler days.
As I thought about how to put this photo together, I thought back to the first place I lived out of college. It was a garage. And by a garage, I don’t mean it was finished with heating and cooling inside it. It was a functional garage with very little insulation. I popped a window AC unit up in the awning window. I used space heaters and electric blankets to stay warm that first winter. While the fired who was letting me live in her garage stored a few things out there, I had pretty much set the garage up like a studio apartment. I had a separate den and bedroom area. I had my stereo. I had a TV and VCR (yes…I am that old). I had my sofa, which was ugly as sin but one of the best sofa’s for napping you have ever seen.
Ironically, my linens were very feminine thanks to them being a graduation gift from my sister.
I stored my clothes in RubberMaid containers. I had two dorm fridges so I wouldn’t have to take up as much space in the fridge in the main house. It was simple. It was nothing fancy. But it was comfortable (except for those REALLY cold winter nights), cheap and meant I didn’t have to move back home. Essentially, my home was a blended collection of family hand me downs and consignment store purchases where nothing went together…but it all went together.
When I first moved to Richmond, my first apartment wasn’t much bigger than that garage. Sometimes I think that garage was less likely to fall apart than that apartment. But again, it was comfortable, cheap and something I could afford so I wouldn’t have to move back home with my family…which was a non-negotiable for me.
I guess the point I am making in all of this is…when in life did we get so worried about politics in the workplace? When did we become more worried about having the prettiest sofa instead of the most comfortable one that felt like home? When did we become so worried with having the biggest house instead of a small place that met our needs and we could afford?
When did we sacrifice ourselves and our physical and emotional well being to be able to say, “Let me show you what big/new purchase I made!” or “I am someone important now because I have achieved this status!”
There’s more to life than all of that.
Having my new roommate, as well as making the decision to have a roommate for the first time since my divorce, has really made me think about what I am sacrificing of myself for a paycheck. It’s made me think about what I could have done differently in the past, and will do in the future moving forward, to get through the this transition. In all honesty, it’s really making me analyze what’s really important in life.
Ironically, other than a few very sentimental antique pieces in my home, I have seriously considered just selling A LOT of the material belongings I have in my home. I don’t know if I will or not. But it is something to think about.
I just want to make sure that I have time for me…to rest, recoup and recover. I mean, no one is going to take care of me but me right now. You know?
Oh! In case you need a good laugh, when I told my roommate I was trying to make this space look like the post college bachelor pad, her response to me…”Looks too girly to be a bachelor pad…” I know a few of my girlfriends who would die laughing hearing that. LOL
See it on Flickr.
Shelf&Wine – Cork Pot
‘Lucky Numbers’ Cigarettes & Tray
DaD [@ Jan round of Anthem. In the Mainstore soon!]
“NoHo coffee table”
hanging plants . cheese plant
hanging plants . double planter
hanging plants . ivy planter
plate with cookies
Hard Lemonade Bottle
Pepperoni Pizza Box
Solo Cups Display
Upcycled Wine Glass Holder – GIFT
Canvas Sneakers Decor
Liza Heels – Nude
Olwen Drink Tray
Bachelor Bag Brown
Hanging Sneakers Worn White
Paper Bag_Group Gift
Rattan Tote Carry, Light Blue
New Year New Me Computer Clutter – Computer
New Year New Me Computer Clutter – Journal
New Year New Me Computer Clutter – Keyboard
New Year New Me Computer Clutter – Mouse
One Door Fridge [White]
Weimaraner Dog Lying – Mesh – Full Perm
Pothos Plant (small)
Swiss Cheese Plant