It’s been a week for me here…
I haven’t posted much this week. There’s been a lot going on for me in real life and it’s taken a lot of me. The BLM protests continue here…28 straight days now with more protests planned through the July 4th holiday, so not a lot of rest here. I know some people don’t understand why I would have to deal with the protests with me working in a hospital…but my hospital is within three blocks of three key areas where protests are occurring…and one of the targets of protesters is surrounded by the hospital and right next to our emergency room. Lots of work to make sure people can access our ED.
Anyway…you probably don’t want to hear more about work…
I will say that I shared on Facebook yesterday that I have been struggling a great deal lately…more so than I have been willing to let anyone know. I’ve actually bottled a whole slew of what’s been going on in my head emotionally and it lead to a weekend of nothing but crying and feeling frozen all of last weekend. Knowing that many of you who read this also follow me on Facebook, I am not going to repeat everything here. For those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook, here is the link if you want a better idea of what’s been going on…
I want to first say thank you to those of you who have reached out to make sure I am ok. Ironically, I have tried reaching out to people to talk and I ended up shutting down every time. Of course, we know I struggle to lean on others…so why should it be surprising that I didn’t lean on others? But you know…that’s on me. That is something I have to work on.
In the end though, no matter how much support I have, I have to look at the things I can directly control and how to better care for myself. I have several areas of my life I am looking at…and one of them is blogging.
There will be some changes coming to my blog here in the next week or so. I don’t have it all hammered out in my head yet, so I need to sort through some things before I say what things will look like moving forward. I need to talk to a few people before I make final decisions. But the changes are coming. This is something I am going to need to do for myself and my own mental health. I am always preaching to others that they need to put themselves first and make sure they practice self care.
Maybe it’s time I heed my own advice?
Yeah…I think I need to.
Again, I want to say thank you to those of you who have reached out to me. As I said earlier, there’s a lot going on in my head…much of it being things I don’t even known how to put into words. I’m working on it though. Those of you who have listened to me ramble and have listened without just giving me the stock feel good phrases, you have no idea how much that means. I still have A LOT to sort through…but I’ll get there.
I’m trying to get it all out in some way that can be comprehended. I just ask that you please bear with me.
See it on Flickr.
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