I’m keeping this simple today.
The other week I mentioned there would be some changes coming with my blog. There are one or two changes I am still working on. I want to have those pieces taken care of before I share what they are here. It’s important to me to have those pieces resolved before I put them in print for all to see.
One change I will mention is there will be more days where I write less here. I may shift to song quotes or poems on some days. It’s not that I don’t want to share or be open about things. I know I still need to do that for my own well being. But I also don’t want to force a topic. Additionally, myself and others have seen things we write in our blogs used against us recently. Maybe I need to be a bit more careful, at least in the short term, and hold some things closer. Time will tell.
The one thing I am trying to remember is that my view of myself and the world is based upon my life and my experiences. For each of you, your view of yourself and the world is based upon your own experiences. Obviously we are all seeing that in the way people are responding to the chaos in the world.
Last night though, I got a reminder of how skewed my view of myself is. I mean, I always knew it was. Never doubted that. But as I had a discussion with a friend last night, they said something to me that brought me to tears. When I sent them a picture of myself, I was too embarrassed and worried to send a selfie without having my hair cover half my face to try to hide features I can’t stand. I got scolded just a wee bit after I sent the photo. I was told not to hide my face. It’s something we all do when we have features we don’t like…especially within the trans community. But that statement, and the words that followed…they left me speechless. I was unable to respond…at all…as I cried.
To my friend who slightly scolded me…I can’t promise I will be better about this right away. It’s going to take me time. I hope you’ll be patient with me. I am working on it. People like you will make this journey much easier. Thank you…so very much.
Maybe, just maybe, one day there will be a way to see ourselves through the eyes of those who care about us.
See it on Flickr.
Luane’s World – Live Again
My Home [Landscaped by Aria Christen Designs]