It’s so easy to get caught up in the trappings of society that we forget who we are at our core.
As I start prepping to present full time in the next couple of months, I’m trying to keep this at the forefront of my mind. Obviously, I want to feel accepted for who I am and as though I can move through the world safely. But I also need to remember that acceptance isn’t worth losing myself.
All of us are complex people. All of us have so many facets to who we are that we can shock people with traits and interests we have. I was sharing with a friend the other night that for as girly as most see me, I am a HUGE college football and basketball fan. I have shocked more than a few guys with my knowledge of the games and how…enthusiastic…I can get during a game (WAHOO-WAA!!!). Many look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I have my private pilot’s license. And the looks I get when I tell people I could spend all day hanging out with a bunch of military pilots talking smack and ogling the fighter jets…it shocks the living daylights out of them. It’s like they just expect me to give up these parts of myself and loves I have had because I am transitioning.
Ironically, I am so many things. I’m a woman. I’m a country girl. I’m a preppy girl. I want to wear the beautiful gown as much as I want to run barefoot through the fields. I want to dine at a fancy restaurant and pick flowers from the garden. I want to attend the fancy ball feeling like a princess…and then walk through water at the edge of a pond or lake and feel the water and mud pass between my toes. The dress can be cleaned or replaced…but the moment we allow ourselves to have those moments that remind us of who we are can never be retrieved once they are lost.
I’ve spent too much of my life letting any of 100 things define me or box me into one set of expectations. One of my goals moving forward to is to just be me…
See it on Flickr.
Amitie Poses – Espadrills 3
Burrow Coffee & Whiskey Company