“A friend is one who overlooks your broken fence and admires the flowers in your garden.”
So, I am just going to say something. A few of my friends have heard this lately and I am sure I will write about it more in the weeks to come because I think it’s going to take some time to work through this. But lately, I have have just felt completely and utterly overwhelmed.
I have shared with friends lately how much weight this transition has placed on my daily life since I returned to work. I mean, yes, I had a few weeks to prep after surgery but without a real routine and spending so much of that time living in the dark, I had no idea what I was going to run into when I returned to the office.
There were things I expected to happen when I realized I needed to take this journey. I knew that when the day came that I was finally showing the world the real me, things would change in my day to day living. I knew it would take me much longer to get ready for work. I knew I would have to be much more conscious about my wardrobe. I knew laundry would be a whole different ballgame, so to speak. I knew some of these things would happen. But there were so many things I never expected or planned for that I am suddenly getting a crash course in that “make sure you take time out of your day for you” saying. It’s been a struggle some days.
I’ve also just been struggling with feeling really overwhelmed emotionally. I will be sharing some of the acts of kindness and support I have received since returning to work and some of them are so incredibly touching. There have been some not so great moments, like what I wrote about it in my last post. One thing that some seem to find odd is that even the extreme acts of kindness and support can be overwhelming too just due to the sheer volume and intensity of it all right now with me having just recently returned to work.
With it all, the emotional overload and the major changes to my daily life, I full admit that I have shut down over the past couple of weeks. I just hit a point where I was online when I had to be and, the rest of the time…I just shut down and turned myself off to the world.
All of this has me at a a point where I am aching for, more than anything is some semblance of normalcy in my life again.
Thankfully, I have amazing friends who have not pushed me but have also been there for me when I have reached out. They have been my sanity and normalcy. They have been my saving grace as the past almost two weeks have taken almost every ounce of emotional energy I have in me to get through each day.
One of these friends is this sweet girl Autumn.
I met Autumn a few months ago at Burrow Co. We didn’t talk much at first, but over the past several weeks, she and I have gotten close. It’s funny how circumstances can bring people together to become friends. That was exactly the case with Autumn and I as various circumstances lead the two of us to talk more, check in on each other and, in the end, to become friends. As I think about the friendship she and I have developed, I am reminded that sometimes the most challenging times can bring us great rewards.
As I mentioned earlier, I have gone into a bit of shutdown mode over the past few weeks and haven’t been as active or chatty in SL as I normally am. Thankfully, most of my friends get it. They are still there when I reach out and they have all been checking on me to make sure I’m ok. Autumn has been one I have been talking with though. She’s been checking on me and we chat most days. She has been one piece of normalcy in my life the past few weeks and I don’t know if she knows how much I appreciate that gift from her.
The friendship she and I have built is a unique one for me in Second Life. For the longest time in SL, I never understood the “family” dynamic some people got involved in. For so many years, it never made any sense to me. But over the past couple of years, that has changed. In that time, I have found my brother Cass, my sister Sassy…and I know she is going to kill me for putting this in here…a daughter in Autumn.
It’s hard to explain how that shaped up for me, and I won’t even speak for Autumn on this…but as she and I become closer friends, I knew that my relationship with her definitely took on more of a maternal dynamic. She’s an incredible young woman and I admire her a great deal for both who she is and how she is living her life…RL and SL. If you haven’t met Autumn before, and she lets you in, you will find this incredibly caring, intelligent and creative young woman who has so much potential…and a heart of gold.
So, Autumn, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for opening up to me. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for allowing me to be your mother here in SL.
And to our first mother/daughter picture. You are the best, sweet girl.
Make sure to check out Autumn’s version here.
See it on Flickr.
[ Focus Poses ] – Friends 3