This past weekend…its been a little crazy. I had hoped to get a post out before now but unfortunately things just didn’t really come together. Between work, trying to wrap up this month’s edition of Eclipse with Trouble…and things swirling through my own head…I’m just grateful to have finally gotten a picture snapped last night.
Yesterday caught me off guard a little bit. Well, a friend of mine living in the UK caught me off guard reminding of what yesterday was…which lead to a whole day of me being caught off guard. Wait…did that make any sense? If not…just bare with me for a moment. I’m still having my morning coffee here.
Yesterday was, I guess, an anniversary of sorts for me. It wasn’t an anniversary of marriage, some dating relationship or anything like that. But, in a way, it was an anniversary celebrating my relationship with not just myself, but also my relationship with the world. It was an anniversary of me taking another step forward in not just being honest with myself, but also with the world around me. It was an anniversary of breaking through shame, guilt and fear to move towards greater self acceptance.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of me disclosing, here in my blog, that I am a transitioning woman.
I still remember the day I made that post. Lord I was a wreck. The whole lead up to that post was a nightmare too. I had done a great deal of talking with and crying to friends about whether or not I should share that aspect of my life. I mean…did I need to share that? Was it necessary? Was there some rule that said I HAD to share that aspect of my life with the ENTIRE SL community? Actually…no there wasn’t anything that said I had to share. I am sure some even asked quietly to themselves why I even considered disclosing in the first place.
I also had the fear of what would happen to me as a blogger if I disclosed. Would I be shunned from the blogging community? Would sponsors drop me? I mean…I could continue to blog regardless, sure. But would I be able to do it in the manner I was growing to love?
So why was I considering disclosing to begin with?
For me, it was about self care and authenticity…and education and awareness.
I know not everyone writes when they blog. Some post beautiful pictures, add their credits and they’re done. There is nothing wrong with that and I follow some of the most amazing bloggers who run their blogs that way. But that’s not me. I enjoy writing…though I had learned quickly in my first few months that fictional writing was not for me. I needed to be able to write about something real. And ultimately, what is more real than writing about our own lives?
By writing about my transition, I get to work through the emotions and experiences I have while on this journey. While some of my experiences are unique to transitioning individuals, the emotions are universal. To me, putting this journey into emotions others can understand can help normalize people like myself and raise empathy for what a woman like myself goes through as she tries to be her true self.
Education and advocacy are huge too. As I began my journey, I was very alone in having someone to talk to about what I was going through. Sure, I had my counselor. But I didn’t have that friend who I could sit on the sofa with in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt while binge eating Ben & Jerry’s and who could look at me and say, “OMG!!! I had that experience too!” Ultimately, we all need that. It gives others somewhere look, read and think to themselves, “I’m not alone…”
Also, writing about all of this allows those who want to love and support those of transitioning, but who may struggle to understand our experiences, be able to look at something as a point of reference. While all of our journeys are uniquely our own, the themes are universal between transitioning individuals.
As I said, its weird thinking its been a year since I disclosed.
Thankfully, I have been blessed by disclosing here. I have made friends I never imagined having. I have been challenged in new ways. I have been asked to take on larger advocacy roles. I have grown personally because I have shared so much here. I have also been allowed, thanks to all of you, to work through my own emotions on this journey in one of the healthiest ways I have found so far.
With that, I am going to try to wrap things up here. I want to take a moment though to thank all of you who supported me when I disclosed and who continue to support me as I walk this journey. Thank you for showing the world is full of love and acceptance.
Thank you for accepting me. ♥
See it on Flickr.
What I’m Wearing
Blueberry – Taylor Braided Belt & Fringed Shorts
Cae – Elusive Earrings & Necklace
ChicModa – Emma Tank Top [9/19 Group Gift]
NOIR – Blessed Braclet
Stealthic – Sultry [@ Collabor88]
UTOPIA@Design – Malena [@ Uber]
Foxcity – Stairs (Sitting) – 2m
leather tote . brown
Soho Build -no snow-
Hello There Wellies Decor